~living this beautiful messy life~
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This morning I had a major anxiety filled panic-ridden flipout…
But first a bit of background.
Our youngest daughter is getting married in eight days.
yes – EIGHT!
Now I am already having a bit of a belly-wobble about what may or may not be expected of us (well ME) on the actual day, but I also don’t Continue reading “flipping out”
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Today is different.
Today I got out of bed quite well rested.
I had a really decent sleep last night, because it rained through the night, and i always sleep soooo much better when it rains.
I have also taken a fortnight off work – which actually winds up being 18 days – so that is a big load of stress gone off my back for the time being!!
And to top it off, I also slept well because My Love & I came to a very important decision last night, Continue reading “today…”
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I only work three days a week – Tues, Wed, Thurs – so I am lucky in that I get a four-day weekend.
In theory…
But these days – my work environment ramps up my anxiety like almost nothing else – so after those three days, I spend Friday pretty much uncoiling from thorough mental, physical and emotion exhaustion.
At least ½ of the day is over, before I start to feel even vaguely like ME!
Come Monday, although I try to schedule my day so that I am relatively busy and not giving myself too much time to think – I can still feel that no-so-subtle tightening in my chest and belly, as the anxiety begins to percolate deep inside of me – with the knowledge that tomorrow I have to go back to work…
Anxiety is such a futile, debilitating waste of time – and I gotta tell you – it SHITS ME OFF!!
[ohhhh for a magic wand…]
We’ve had some storms over the last few days, with good torrential downpours, so today while the ground is still nice and soft and the sun is shining, I am going to plant out some of the potted stuff from our nursery, rather than having to put them into bigger pots.
That will calm my soul!
At least for a little while…
How do YOU handle your anxiety?
A great article about anxiety can be found at “The Mighty“.
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I’m having a bit of a ‘comparison’ dilemma at the moment and whilst I know that comparing oneself to others is never a healthy or helpful thing – I’m just not quite sure how to get it “out of my system”…
It makes it that much harder – because the person I am making the comparison with, is my Love.
My Love is 5 years older than me, and is a healthy happy vibrant person, who loves Continue reading “comparisons”
After yesterdays mammoth post, I thought today would just be a ‘quickie’ 🙂
Sometimes – just cleaning up and sorting out a small corner of your home, can make a huge difference to how you feel about the rest of the day.
I had had one of those mornings where I came back to the Farm feeling pretty crappy, frustrated and annoyed. Continue reading “a quickie”
What a wonderful way to start my ‘me-time Monday’..! Continue reading “me-time Monday”
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On reflection – the other day, I was shown a perfect example of how I know I’ve changed over the last couple of years.
I had to go into town to do some shopping and plus a Physio appointment, but I was also going to the house in town prior to all that, to do some cleaning up.
I was halfway to town when I realised Continue reading “reflection”
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I came across the photo at the end of this post today – and it really resonated with me.
Not because I needed someone to listen to me – but because I needed to listen to someone…. Continue reading “chaos”
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I feel so incredibly lucky, and grateful today.
I’m having a day at home on the Farm – which has so far consisted of doing the dishes, making bread dough, pruning the tree that has started encroaching on the driveway and Continue reading “gratitude”
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Most of my life has been spent trying to shrink myself.
Trying to become smaller.
Quieter.
Less sensitive.
Less opinionated.
Less needy. Continue reading “i choose me”
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