how fortunate am I?

 

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With each day that passes, I am more and more glad that I left work when I did.

I am also very very aware of how incredibly fortunate I was, to be in the position of having the support (in all ways) from My Love, that meant I was able to have that choice to leave work.

With the clamp-downs that have been happening now surrounding COVID-19, and all the associated job losses that are going along with it, I know that Continue reading “how fortunate am I?”

lessons

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Again – it feels like the Universe is throwing me yet another lesson – because no matter how many it has thrown me in the last couple of years – I keep pushing the lessons to the side – and blindly bumbling on – seemingly oblivious to what is trying to be taught to me.

I hope this season that I am in right now – isn’t yet another lesson I will push to the side and ignore – for I know what the lesson is, and I know what is required of me to move toward that which I need to be doing – but still I hold off – perhaps paralysed Continue reading “lessons”

lists aplenty

 

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Its only a matter of days now, before we leave on our much-needed vacation, so as you can imagine I am neck deep in planning and organising, which for me means the there are lists aplenty going on!

Lists for whats already packed, lists for what still needs to be packed, list for things that need doing around the house and garden, and lists about whom we still need to see to take care of our Home, Farm and animals while we’re gone.

Lists to remind us of what needs printing out, a list that spells out our semi-intended itinerary, and a meal-planning list so that there is hopefully minimal amounts of food that will need to be composted prior to us leaving.

As I’ve said before, its two years since we last went to New Zealand, and it will be our very first extended leave away from the Farm, since we bought it.
And I’m freaking out just a wee bit! 😐

Its such a double-dilemma for me personally…

New Zealand is my soul-home.
It is where I belong.
It is where my insides quieten, and my heart feels full.

Had Life panned out differently, we would currently be nestled in our home at Okiato, overlooking Opua Harbour right now…but that didn’t pan out – so compromises had to be made, and dreams re-developed.

Now – we have our beautiful Farm, nestled in the foothills of the Carrington Ranges – and we live in a small 63m2 (678ft2) home that we’re in the process of converting from a machinery shed.
And I love our Home and Farm fiercely!

They too, now feed my soul and fill my heart…

The Farm is my haven.
Its where my soul gets replenished when the rest of ‘life’ drains me.
Its my safe place.
Its where no-one judges me.
It is where I grow food to nourish our bodies while the serenity nourishes my mind and spirit.

Because of this, there is a part of me doesn’t want to go away and leave them, for what feels like soooo long!

I know…. first world problems right?! 😐

So – I’m more than a tad angsty right now.
The list-making helps me feel more in control of that – and I keep reminding myself that I’m going to my soul-home for a while so we can both rest, relax, regroup and reconnect – I’m not leaving our Farm, never to return!

I am going somewhere special to spend time with someone special.
I am going to go and make memories to hold deep in my heart.
I’m going ‘home’ for a little while… And we’ll be back wrapped in the safety of our gorgeous serene Farm before we even know it, wondering how on earth the time passed so damn quick!
Sarah


What’s not to love, with the changing of the colours of the trees signalling the changing of the seasons.
THIS is what we’re off to spend time soaking up…


Theres noooo business like snowwwww business….!
The most gorgeous scenery in the entire world.

glad you asked!

 

 

Smoking you ask?
Are you still smoking?
Wellllll – I’m glad you asked!!

It’s a month in (well, 4 weeks lol) – in case you’ve been keeping track – and still she doesn’t smoke!

That’s right folks.
I’m a month clean!!

But what I’m even more incredibly proud and grateful for – is that my Love is also a month clean of not smoking!!!

Neither of us can say that there haven’t been times when we’d have liked to have had a cigarette – that would be outright lying – and when our son got hit by a car whilst riding his motorbike to work one morning, and was whisked off by Ambulance with expected internal bleeding – welllll…. it was pretty much a ‘perfect-storm excuse’ for either of us to have wimped out and given in.

But we DIDN’T!!!

Yep – we still need to remind ourselves every.single.day that we can’t have ‘just one or two’ – because there is no such thing.

But a month in, and we’re still making the choice every day, to stay nicotine free.
I’m super proud of us 🙂 🙂 🙂

Sarah

progress

 

 

I’ve spent my “free-time Friday” this week, moving furniture around a bit within our little home.

I’ve now made room for my writing desk to go into our living room space so that it will front on to the big glass doors, which means I’ll now have a lovely view of our garden to look out on when I write, instead of only being able to see the top of the trees – which was my previous view from the dining room table – due to me being ‘horizontally challenged’ 😀

I love our garden so much – and love to take my laptop outside to write, when the weather is being kind – but of late its either been blisteringly hot, or pouring with rain – and as we don’t yet have a covered outdoor area, it means I am confined to indoors during those times.

Right now, we don’t use our lounge-room area a whole lot – its more of a winter area for us in the evenings; but when I’m home alone, I’ll often use the area for reading, otherwise it doesn’t get a lot of traffic – so I’ve been looking at ways to re-jig it, so that it not only gets more use, but is a more practical space for us.

And what better way to do that than to incorporate my writing desk into the area!

I have also been keeping a look-out at the tip-shop and the second-hand shops for a day-bed, which I will put along the wall that currently houses a huuuuuuge lounge-chair and a chest of drawers.

The drawers will move to the next wall over, and the lounge-chair will probably be sold.

We don’t use the lounge-chair, and rarely have visitors who would use it – so its just being a space-sucker!
(although our puppies may disagree with my opinions on this particular piece of furniture)

Its all a work in progress, and today I’m loving’ the progress I’ve made! 🙂

Sarah

 

 

 

My lovely calm writing space.
You can see the view I have, in the title Image for this post
🙂

you’re not a burden

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The fact that you’re struggling doesn’t make you a burden.

It doesn’t make you unlovable or undesirable or undeserving of care.
It doesn’t make you too much or too sensitive or too needy…It makes you human.

Everyone struggles.
Everyone has a difficult time coping, and at times, we all fall apart.

During these times, we aren’t always easy to be around — and that’s okay.
No one is easy to be around one hundred percent of the time.

Yes, you may sometimes be unpleasant or difficult.
And yes, you may sometimes do or say things that make the people around you feel helpless or sad.
But those things aren’t all of who you are and they certainly don’t discount your worth as a human being.

The truth is that you can be struggling and still be loved.
You can be difficult and still be cared for.
You can be less than perfect, and still be deserving of compassion and kindness…

Sarah

15 nuggets

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1. You are not your body and your body is not you but you best look after each other anyway.
You might be together for a while.

2. You’ll never have more potential than you do right now, so find a way to use more of what you’ve got.

3. You think too much.

4. It’s not a time issue.
It’s a how-you-manage-your-time issue.

5. You’ll never be perfect, so aim for better.

6. You’ll never live in the future or the past, so find a way to be happy in the now.

7. Your beliefs, standards and rules will change over time so don’t get too self-righteous about your current ones.

8. Life doesn’t get better, you do.
Life is life – it will happen to you, around you and despite you.
It’s your job to get better in the middle of it all.

9. Your body is not the problem.
It’s the consequence.

10. You’ll never find yourself in things.
So stop looking there.

11. Even though you might not feel it, think it, believe it or hear it, you are good enough.

12. Your happiness works from the inside-out.
Not the other way around.

13. Things only have the meaning you give them.
Every day, you get to create your own reality.
So choose your labels wisely.

14. Nobody can take your power but you can give it away.
Master your fear and you’ll master your life.

15. Real success is not about what you earn, own, achieve or win but who you become along the way.

Sarah

gettin’ closer

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Its a year on from my “one step at a time” post – and I’m reflecting a bit about where I am now as opposed to this time last year.

Some things haven’t yet changed.

I am still at my job as a Manager, I am still working three days a week, and I’m still not a full-time HouseSpouse.
YET!

A lot has change though…

We have the house in town on the market – for sale.
We have moved full-time into the FarmHouse.
We have stacks of garden beds that are flourishing with edible produce, that fills our bellies with wholesome homegrown goodness.

We have enough surplus veggies that I am able to do canning so that our pantry shelves are stocked with a variety of foods that we know the ingredients of, and I routinely make our own bread.

We have chickens that supply us with all of our own fresh eggs, and we home-cook 95% of the food we eat.

I have managed to reduce our food budget substantially.
I have also paid off a lot of credit card debt, and will hopefully have paid off the remainder of it in less than a year.

We also no longer have cable tv or home phone line payments to have to find the money for.

I have reduced my clothing spending significantly, although we are going to need to buy some new-to-us work shirts soon, as the ones we currently share are getting a bit faded and threadbare lol.

And – we’ve reduced our power and water consumption!

I may not be as close to where I want to be as I would like – but I am certainly a lot closer than I was a year ago – and for that, I’m pretty darn proud of the headway I’ve made…

Sarah

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