~living this beautiful messy life~
o0o
So here I am – officially over 3 months unemployed!!
Its time for a bit more of an in-depth run-down of what Life has been like for me for the last three months – so I’m going to break it down into sections to help me arrange my thoughts a little better…
You better grab a cuppa Continue reading “mega update”
o0o
Its six weeks since I last posted.
Six weeks since the event that changed my dear friends Life forever – in ways that I can barely begin to imagine.
Its also 6 weeks in which my Life has changed – because of the hideous heartbreak my friend has had to endure…
Only an hour into my first day back at work Continue reading “huuuge changes”
o0o
Again – it feels like the Universe is throwing me yet another lesson – because no matter how many it has thrown me in the last couple of years – I keep pushing the lessons to the side – and blindly bumbling on – seemingly oblivious to what is trying to be taught to me.
I hope this season that I am in right now – isn’t yet another lesson I will push to the side and ignore – for I know what the lesson is, and I know what is required of me to move toward that which I need to be doing – but still I hold off – perhaps paralysed Continue reading “lessons”
.
I had always imagined that this was always going to be a really special year.
Grandma & Grumpa would be 90, Uncle John 60, me 50, You 30, Rian 25 and Tom 21.
Amazing landmarks for our Family, worthy of awesome celebration.
But that wasn’t to be….
I had 15 years with you, and I’ve now had to have 15 without you.
I’m sure many – maybe including you – would say that that’s been my choice, but it hasn’t been…
We both know that.
Whilst our lives may have gone in very different directions, and you’ve chosen that you don’t wish me to have any part of yours; which I’ve respected – but I can’t begin to explain the depths of sadness within me, not having you in my Life brings – and there isn’t a week, a day, that goes past, when you aren’t in my thoughts – both waking and sleeping.
One day – if you have your own children – I can only hope that you never have to make a decision that you believe is in the best interests for your child, that they disagree with…
I do however, hope that you can understand (but never have to experience), if you become a parent – what desperate agonising torture it has been, to not be allowed to go to your graduation; to have no involvement in – or even get to talk to you – on your 18th or 21st; and every other day, plus Christmas and birthdays etc.
To not ever get a reply to any attempts at communication.
But most of all – to not be able to tell you how very much I Love You, and how very proud I am for you, of the man you have worked so hard to become.
I hope you have a wonderful birthday Sweetheart, and that you get to share it with people who love you.
I’m sure your Lady will spoil you silly – and that’s a good thing :))
I love you Josh and will continue to, well beyond this Life, and the next – please never forget that…
Happy Birthday my Love.
Mumma xxx
This function has been disabled for Simple Life Farmer.
