A letter to my Son

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I had always imagined that this was always going to be a really special year.

Grandma & Grumpa would be 90, Uncle John 60, me 50, You 30, Rian 25 and Tom 21.

Amazing landmarks for our Family, worthy of awesome celebration.
But that wasn’t to be….

I had 15 years with you, and I’ve now had to have 15 without you.

I’m sure many – maybe including you – would say that that’s been my choice, but it hasn’t been…
We both know that.

Whilst our lives may have gone in very different directions, and you’ve chosen that you don’t wish me to have any part of yours; which I’ve respected – but I can’t begin to explain the depths of sadness within me, not having you in my Life brings – and there isn’t a week, a day, that goes past, when you aren’t in my thoughts – both waking and sleeping.

One day – if you have your own children – I can only hope that you never have to make a decision that you believe is in the best interests for your child, that they disagree with…

I do however, hope that you can understand (but never have to experience), if you become a parent – what desperate agonising torture it has been, to not be allowed to go to your graduation; to have no involvement in – or even get to talk to you – on your 18th or 21st; and every other day, plus Christmas and birthdays etc.
To not ever get a reply to any attempts at communication.

But most of all – to not be able to tell you how very much I Love You, and how very proud I am for you, of the man you have worked so hard to become.

I hope you have a wonderful birthday Sweetheart, and that you get to share it with people who love you.
I’m sure your Lady will spoil you silly – and that’s a good thing :))

I love you Josh and will continue to, well beyond this Life, and the next – please never forget that…

Happy Birthday my Love.

Mumma xxx

I love you because..

I love you because

You make me giddy
You make me laugh
You taste delicious
Your eyes speak volumes.
You make my heart flutter
You genuinely care, not just about me, but about others.
You’re funny – and you like to laugh.
You’re an awesome mother.
You’re sexy as hell!
You have a generous spirit.
You support my decisions.
You look after me; and not just when I’m sick.
You like food as much as I do.
You make my knees weak.
You will be there asap if I need you
You smell delicious.
You are respectful.
You like my cooking!
You pick up the phone when I call.
You are an amazing lover
You enjoy diy
You have a brilliant beautiful smile
You have a soft heart
You’re naughty
You have a gorgeous body
You know how to make me smile
You’re a “bad, bad, Mumma
You give the best hugs

You are a part of my heartbeat…

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