calm Archives | Page 6 of 6 | Simple Life Farmer

a mediocre life

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What if I all I want is a small, slow, simple life?
What if I am most happy in the space of in between? Where calm lives.
What if I am mediocre and choose to be at peace with that?

The world is such a noisy place. Loud, haranguing voices lecturing me to hustle, to improve, build, strive, yearn, acquire, compete, and grasp for more. For bigger and better.
Sacrifice sleep for productivity.
Strive for excellence.
Go big or go home.
Have a huge impact in the world.
Make your life count.

But what if I just don’t have it in me?
What if all the striving for excellence leaves me sad, worn out, depleted?
Drained of joy.
Am I simply not enough?

What if I never really amount to anything when I grow up—beyond a wife, mum, daughter and sister?
But these people in my primary circle of impact know they are loved and I would choose them again, given the choice.
Can this be enough?

What if I never build an orphanage in Africa, but send bags of groceries to people here and there and support a couple of kids through sponsorship?
What if I just offer the small gifts I have to the world and let that be enough?

What if I don’t want to write a cookbook or build a six figure business or speak before thousands?
But I write because I have something to say and I invest in a small community of women I care about and encourage them to love and care for themselves well.
Because bigger isn’t always better and the individual matters.
She is enough.

What if I just accept this mediocre body of mine that is neither big nor small? Just in between.
And I embrace that I have no desire to work for rock hard abs or 18% body fat.
And I make peace with it and decide that when I lie on my deathbed I will never regret having just been me.
Take me or leave me.

What if I am a mediocre home manager who rarely dusts and mostly maintains order and makes real food but sometimes buys pizza and who is horrified at moments by the utter mess in some areas of her home?
Who loves to menu plan and budget but then breaks her own rules and pushes back against rigidity.
Who doesn’t care about decorating and fancy things.
Whose home is humble but safe.

What if I am not cut out for the frantic pace of this society and cannot even begin to keep up?
And see so many others with what appears to be boundless energy and stamina but know that I need tons of solitude and calm, an abundance of rest, and swaths of unscheduled time in order to be healthy.
Body, spirit, soul healthy.
Am I enough?

What if I am too religious for some and not spiritual enough for others?
Non-evangelistic.
Not bold enough.
Yet willing to share in quiet ways, in genuine relationship, my deeply rooted faith.
And my doubts and insecurities.

This will have to be enough.

And if I have been married 20 years and love my spouse more today than yesterday but have never had a fairy tale romance and break the “experts” marriage rules about doing a ton of activities together and having a bunch in common.
And we don’t.
And we like time apart and time together.
Is our marriage good enough?

What if I am a mum who delights in her kids but needs time for herself and sometimes just wants to be first and doesn’t like to play, but who hugs and affirms and supports her kids in their passions?
A mediocre mum who can never live up to her own expectations of good enough, let alone yours.

What if I embrace my limitations and stop railing against them?
Make peace with who I am and what I need and honor your right to do the same.
Accept that all I want is a small, slow, simple life.
A mediocre life.
A beautiful, quiet, gentle life.

I think it is enough…

This article was originally published by Krista O’Reilly-Davi-Digui over at A Life in Progress.

What to do?!?!

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Soooo – next weekend, I get to have a few days to myself — sooo, what to de eh!!??!!

Our grandson turns 3 next week, and there is going to be a party held in his honour.
But…I’m not going.

We’ve decided that my Wife will go on her own, and I’ll hold down the fort here.

Plus, it’s just not my kind of scene…
a) it’s out of town
b) we have to fly and drive to get there
c) I don’t happen to believe in having a big ‘piss-up‘ party, for a three year old.

But we do need to make an appearance of some sort – so the Mrs gets to do the honours this time round.

So this week I get to plan out how I’d like to spend the time flying solo, and I’ve decided I’m going to make it some good ole fashioned ME time!!!
(we’ll see how it all pans out I guess lol)

What I’d like to do:
– get rid of the ciggies in my system
– get 2 of my tattoos touched up
– have a bath
– do some gardening
– catalogue some books
– clean out the cars
– watch some junk television
– maybe even hang some art

Sometime next week, I’ll try remember to check in and we’ll see just what I did end up doing…
Probably nothing on the list!! 😐

Where will we go today?

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Its the little things in life that make me happy…

Spring is only two days away, and the bitter winds and drizzle have – for the most part – died off, and each day it seems, is becoming a little warmer.

Today, my Wife and I went for a bbq picnic brunch, out at the Lake.

Its a lovely spot, and on nice sunshiny days like today, people are out and about – walking their dogs, playing with their kids, zooming about in their power boats, or just paddling about in the shallows.
Life is happening all around, and for me, I like being able to sit back and just enjoy watching it…

We had a bbq breakfast of bacon, eggs, beans, and toast, washed down with a cup of tea, and a shared glass of orange juice.

It was yummy, and the surrounds invoked a peaceful feel.
Definitely a nice way to start the day – and one of the things that today, made me happy.

On the way home, we popped in to the grocery store, to get some supplies for dinner, and the start of the week.

At the moment one of our local stores is giving away stickers when you spend a certain amount at checkout.
Its a money-raising scheme for the local schools, and you pop your ribbon of stickers into the box of whichever school you want to support. The school then gets to spend $x per sticker collected, on educational items for their school.

The local kids all love getting the stickers, and I think it also probably makes them feel like they are making a real contribution to their school community. Their little faces are so proud when they pop those stickers into their box of choice!!

Now the youngest of our kids is in his 20s – so needless to say we aren’t collecting them for him!
Nor are we collecting for the grandbabies, as they don’t go to school yet, and also – they don’t live locally.

So – each time I go shopping, I end up with a great ribbon of stickers, and I have taken to keeping my eye out, when I am at the checkout, for a likely child on which to bestow my stickers.

I have two different criteria that I use when “making my selection“, and they are at opposite ends of the spectrum.

One is the child who has been beautifully behaved whilst shopping with their adult.

Its nice to be able to hand over the ribbon of stickers, and thank them for how fabulously they behaved during shopping, and its even nicer to see the look of excitement on their face at getting the stickers given to them.
Its also a big pleasure to see the happiness (and often well-deserved pride) of the attending adult, that the child has been noticed and praised.

The other is the child who is starting to have a bit of a spin-out.
They’ve obviously been at school, or day care or such, and now they’ve been dragged into the shops, and they’ve just had quite enough – thank you very much – and are about to ramp it up to melt-down level, at any tick of the clock.
Usually, you can see that their attending adult knows that shit is about to hit the fan, too – and its a bit of a toss-up on which of them is going to blow their gasket first…

Why do I pick this child?

Because when I wander over, and stand in front of them (suspicious frown on attending adult), I rip the sticker ribbon in half, and give half of the ribbon to the child – telling them that they will get the other half if they can keep being really nicely behaved – just like they are now, until they get the groceries home, and help take them inside.

Then I give the other half of the ribbon to the attending adult, whilst saying to child: “See, heres the rest, just like I said, and you get them ALL, if you keep being really nicely behaved, just like you are now, until you get home, and help take the groceries inside“.

I’m sure it doesn’t always work how I’m hoping it will – but I’m pretty sure a lot of times it does!

And as I wander off, I occasionally hear a more relaxed attending adult, who is often praising the child for the good behaviour that they are sure is about to come, and a child who has settled a bit – all just because someone interrupted the vibe that was starting to build, in a not so good way…

The other day, I saw the mother of a child whom I had given stickers to.
It was out in the car park, and the child had been on its way to being a brat when I had handed over the half sticker ribbon to him, and half to his Mumma.

When I caught sight of her, she had just finished buckling him up in his booster seat, in the back of the car, and had given him a kiss.
As she stood back up, and shut the door, and went to get into the drivers seat, she looked up, saw me, and with a weary half-smile, she mouthed “thank you” to me, across the roofs of the few cars between us.

It made me happy….