a bad relationship



Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, a bad relationship – or some of the elements of a bad relationship – follow you through life…

My Father had a bad relationship with alcohol.
When he was alive, I don’t recall a time when I ever thought my Father was an alcoholic – after all, unless it was a special occasion like a sunday lunch out with friends – he would never drink before 6pm.
He didn’t start the day with a ‘heart-starter’, and was never a Continue reading “a bad relationship”

Made me think…


A few days ago, I was talking to someone, and they said to me: “smoking and drinking are two of the only things that I can control.

It tweaked something inside me at the time, but later on, it really got me thinking…

For soooo many years I used to say the same thing to myself.

It was my business if I smoked or drank.
It was my body – and what I put into it was up to me.
It was my choice.
I enjoy smoking, and I like a drink or 3 at the end of the day.
I’ve earnt it dammit.
Butt the hell out with all your “well meaning” opinions!!

But then I realised something.
It wasn’t really my choice.

I was heartily addicted to not just the nicotine, but to the routine of smoking.

And it was the same with booze.
I didn’t ever drink before evening, and I didn’t drink after dinner, therefore I obviously didn’t have a booze problem.

And it sure as hell never effected my work life!!

But ya know what?

I did have a problem.

I was drinking every single day.
I was drinking at least a half bottle before dinner, but could happily do a bottle or more a night if I had a drinking buddy, or an ‘excuse’.

And gawd knows I still can!

But there’s a difference now…

Now, I often go weeks and weeks at a time, without drinking.
Without even thinking about it.

I mostly only drink on real occasions now.
When we’re out to dinner.
When we’re away on holiday, and go somewhere special.

The difference is – that I really AM in control of my drinking now.

I used to tell myself I was in control of my smoking and drinking – but I really was bullshitting myself.

It takes no control whats-so-ever to keep drinking, and keep smoking – what takes real control – is to not do those things….

Think about it!

(ps: in one of those moments of irony – just as I finished typing this, I looked up at the tv, which is on in the background, despite the fact that I’m listening to the radio (lol) – and The Morning Show on 7 is doing an article titled “Escapism in a Bottle”, about the prevalence of older women abusing alcohol!)

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